To all teachers!

I wrote this poem, when I was in grade twelve about to graduate. I had a very tough time in middle school and high school and at times as sad as it sounds, quite often the teachers were the only people I spent time with. 

I wrote this for them for my graduation, as a thank you letter.  All of these words, I could also be for my college professors, as they helped me through alot as well.

Teachers are what we need more of in this world. Teachers that are there to help and to love us unconditionally, to show us that we can achieve anything we set our minds to! 

______________________________________

As a child;

You were my second guardians. 

You were there to heal my pain, 

There to listen ALL my stories,

There to help me build memories.

As I grew up;

You were my defenders.

You were there when no one was,

There when they would laugh, 

There when I was lost, 

There to always lend a hand, 

There to stand up for me. 

As my last year is at its end, 

You are my role models.

You'll be there when I accept my diploma,

You'll cry with pride,

You'll watch what I've become.

Now I see;

You've always been my teachers.

When you were always there,

You never gave up on me, 

You encouraged me,

You gave me confidence!

With everything you did for me, 

You listened, 

You had faith that I'd find my way.

It has made me who I am to this day. 

As a sign of deep gratitude, 

Thank you.

For always believing,

For your love and devotion

.

When?

When did you decide, it was okay?
When did you realize, I wasn't worth it
When did you plan?
When did you stop loving me?
When did I start being your target?

When did you start blaming me for your problems? 
When was I ever right?
When were you ever wrong? 

Was it really me that you were mad at? 
Was I really the problem? 
Was I really the cause of your screaming? 

And her;
Why did you make her chose?
Why was my happiness, not important?
Why wasn't hers?
Why didn't you understand her love for me?
Why didn't you let her love me?

She was mine! .....Now shes yours..... 

Was it all a game?
Was it all in your head?
Was it out of hate? 

Why did you chose those words?
Why did you chose me, in all my innocence? 

You had no right to destroy my childhood!
You had no right to destroy my family! 
You had no right ! 

And now should I be happy because I'm free
Or sad, because those years will for ever haunt 
My future.




To children who don't have a choice. 

Yes, they do have two mommies..

When they ask; "how are you going to do it, I mean your lesbian ?"
Oh yes, I'll say I am gay, but of course without a hesitant bone in my body I will explain what an IUI is, then there's also; invitro,  or adoption... shall I go on?

Not considering that, it isn't any of your buisness how I get pregnant, I don't know you, but still, I will...
Because it's normal to be curious, it's normal to wonder,  and how would they know unless they had friend that had fertility problems.

Yes, like all my friends say ( you always make excuses for other people's bad behaviour or misinformation)... I've always believed that there is always two sides to each story, so I give people chances.

There still is people out there though that grew up believing some things that don't add up to today's society, and I for one respect that.

There are people that chose to be hateful with their opinions of what's right and wrong and I find that to be very harmful.  Not just to me but to everyone.
If you believe something to be your truth, don't you owe that to everyone else to let them believe their own truths? Why does it matter ?

That's when it comes down to choices, you can either chose to say" okay, I believe a man should be with a women, but if women wants to be with women or men with men, then that's their choice"

A Choice!!! -No I don't mean, chosing to be gay, you are born that way. Choice as in, not chosing to be straight if your gay, same as why would a straight person chose to be gay.

 It is absolutely one of the hardest thing someone has to do, and definitely the easiest way to find out how much your family truly cares... ( But that's another rant, for another day.)

Believe me I didn't get the good outcome. I deffinetely did not chose this.

Deep down at the root of all the discrimination, like everything else, for a lot of people there is always the fear of the unknown, and this is always involved in every prejudices. Sometimes people just don't understand because their not living it.
I once saw this text on Facebook,  where a women Said this and I quote;

" X: I don't mind gay people but I don't want my kids to watch them on tv because I don't want them to turn gay."
Y: Yeah same here, I don't let my kids watch black people on tv, incase they turn black.
X: But being black isn't a choice.
Y: exactly... "
                
It's comments or ignorence like this that, that makes me dissapointed in society. Even if you have an opinion, it doesn't have to make you, ummm what's the word I'm looking for?  Unlogical?, unrealistic?.. Other words come to mind, but it's not worth it to stoop down to that level now is it.

So I guess my point is, why can't everyone just BE! I know the questions need to happen, for societies knowledge to grow, but I hope and see a future with no judgement and only acceptance!

I hope for a futur where my son or daughter can go to school, to their friends and say yes I have two mommies and I'm proud of it.

I hope that they dont even have to explain why because parents should, by then, explain to their children that there are kids with two mommies, two dad's, and ect.

To a brighter future!

The fat .VS. The Skinny!

Apparently there's some clothing stores I'm to skinny for, and stores I'm to fat for.... What's up with that?... When I think about all the people that are bigger than me, that can't go to all the ( skinny people stores), and all the skinny people that can't go to the bigger people store's( not that there's a wide variety)....

Ok, So like most things we like to put things in categories, and like most things they want to divide us; ( the public).  Which in my opinion is the reason everyone hates on everyone. From being a child with bullies, to being an adult trying to impress your peers. Everyone at one point wants to fit in some how, and being showed on any kind of media, that (skinny is best), does not help. Now thankfully more and more media and stores have been speaking out about how bigger can be beautiful....

I think all stores should have all sizes, then that way EVERYONE is equal!!

I've heard so many things that people actually believe, and their just appalling to me!

For instance;

- Fat people always wear clothes that are too small...( No... Their will always be people that wearq to small clothes at time, fat or skinny but the reason some people think this, is because when your bigger the clothes don't hang off the same way as others, and even when you wear your waist size people are gonna think its to small because people are use to seeing ( the right people wearing it).

- Oh my god, that girl must be anorexic.. (No, some people are born with a high metabolism and actually are skinny like that.)

- She's in a sport, why is she fat? ( Some people are born with a slower metabolism! )

- Skinny people are so lucky. ( No, some thin people have trouble finding clothes to wear too! And God forbid they have somewhat large boobs, that's sucks, you can't find nothing that fits right.

You know with all this said, their is most likely the skinny girl that doesn't eat enough, or the fat girl that eats to much, BUT at the end of the day WHO CARES. They don't need  a reason to be skinny or fat, that's not what defines who they are.

Our flab or the lack their of, should not be the first thing people see in us, it should be our good personalities..

And if you don't have a good personality then well I can't help you there ...

#Girl power, # Love yourself, # Love each other! 

Two faced or just Nice? Rant!

When does being two face get so easy for some people, when you're befriending one person and hating on them to the next person. When you just can't help but talk, about everyone that trusts you, confides in you and most of all thinks you are their friend. At what point does being a good friend, makes you chose between telling them the truth or lying, or maybe......... the lying would just only be for their own good? Where is the line, between bad lying and good lying?

I've met my fair amount of people in my short life, and no I haven't met more or less than the next person, but I never realized how many liars there are.

People have told me, I trust to easy, but I've just always tried to think the of best in people, until they prove me wrong, because why wouldn't you give anyone a chance? I think I should believe what they say, or at least try to listen what they want to say. ( For the one's that make up a story as their going..) I don't know, maybe lying is a sign of past neglect, attention seeking?

Sometimes you get liars out of the people you least expect it from. Nice people, that; "love you!" Why do they feel the need to show affection to you, when deep down they could care less, or they have other motives? Some would say; "Most likely to gain their trust!".... And, that could be right for some people, or quite a few actually.... Or, maybe they just want to be nice until they find someone better than you...

Than you have the other people, the "tell it like it is people". These people are at times, hated, because people Hate hearing the truth because, the truth hurts, it makes us think about all the self-conscious things we think about ourselves, and if ONE person happens to tell you " their truth", than I suppose that means everyone thinks the same? No, that's completely false, and even me as a girl, I have a hard time even admitting that, because I've been through the same thing countless times, for countless reasons/subjects. From; Asking your partner, does this dress make me look fat, to; Did you sleep with my sister... What are they suppose to answer? Then again, there are bigger situations, and bigger lies to tel out there too. When is it okay to lie?

( How many times have you heard in your life; ( You are _ _ _ _ _), and believed it, or went on your day/week/month thinking of it, some people ( Teens, adults), have even went into depression or committed suicide for what people thought?.....huuhmmm.

  But how are these people worst than the "liars", or the " I'm to nice to tell the truth people". ??????

I'm actually not sure where I would fit in, and I know a lot of people that would slide through the cracks, not everyone fits in a category, in every situation in life. (Everyone, including me has lied a little, some and a lot.)

I just wish people were just honest, and being kind is a pretty great quality, and if you have a kind heart than you have nothing to worry about do you? :) The world would be a much better place if people just accepted everyone in it!..


Love never fails!

Spot light...

I use to think, this would be a dream come true,
Living a life where everything I want, I get.
Everyone knows my name,
No one knows my pain.

Living in the spot light,
Has its gains and its loss's.
Afraid of going outside,
Wishing for one moment, that I could be invisible.

While they try to make a living,
I try to live my life...

Everyday,
Every outfit,
Every bad hair day,
To them, its just an other picture to take.

Walking down the street,
Eyes look me up and down.
Do they really see me,
Or, do they see who they want to see?

I know in a way,
They look up to me.
For some reason, im their idol.
To me, im still the same person,
Just trying to do what I love...

Is love enough

"The feeling you have when wanting to say I love you, but having said it so many times, the words are inadequate. It's as though the meaning behind the words no longer fufills the deep feelings you have towards this person... What is the word I am longing for that would declare to you my true feelings?"