Spot light...

I use to think, this would be a dream come true,
Living a life where everything I want, I get.
Everyone knows my name,
No one knows my pain.

Living in the spot light,
Has its gains and its loss's.
Afraid of going outside,
Wishing for one moment, that I could be invisible.

While they try to make a living,
I try to live my life...

Everyday,
Every outfit,
Every bad hair day,
To them, its just an other picture to take.

Walking down the street,
Eyes look me up and down.
Do they really see me,
Or, do they see who they want to see?

I know in a way,
They look up to me.
For some reason, im their idol.
To me, im still the same person,
Just trying to do what I love...

Is love enough

"The feeling you have when wanting to say I love you, but having said it so many times, the words are inadequate. It's as though the meaning behind the words no longer fufills the deep feelings you have towards this person... What is the word I am longing for that would declare to you my true feelings?"

Unconditional?

You know that feeling,

The kind you felt when your first love broke you.

The kind you felt when you disappointed someone, or yourself.



The kind of heartbreak that

You just can’t stop,

The feeling of no return,

The feeling of goodbye,

The feeling of pain so deep, with it has no cure.



It’s always the same but

The last is always worst then the first.



It’s like a shockwave,

Pumping through your heart.

You can’t breathe,

You can’t move.



When your use to being busy,

You forget life,

You stick to your schedule,

Your life is on pause, you’re on autopilot.

Days go by,

Your still there,

Is this real?

Is this really happening to me?



When you stop and think,

You realise everything you’ve lost.

Everything comes crashing down

All you can do is deal

Hope it’s going to work its self out.



What am I supposed to do?

Thorn between people you’ve known your whole life

And someone you love.



All I want is to scream,

I am happy!

Let me BE!

It’s not that simple is it….



Listening is so hard when you do not believe,

When does love become so conditional….

When flesh and blood,

Means nothing…

Mon coeur/ My heart

Original :

C’est très difficile,

Quand je vous remarque.

Ca me marque,

Quand vos mots sont ci facile.



Vous n’avez pas d’attention,

Quand je pleur avec émotions.

Je me sens toute seule,

Quand vous vous moquer de ma gueule.



Ces histoires sont tellement intéressantes,

Quand vote vie n’est pas concerné.

Ca vous donne quoi, vraiment ?

Ca vaut tu la peine, d’arrêter ?



Je vous donne tout mon cœur,

Et vous me le rembourser comment ?

Avec ma douleur ?

Est-ce que sa vous met content ?



Je pensais avoir dépasser ces obstacles,

Mais, vous les ramener.

Je pensais que jetait meilleur,

Mais maintenant, je suis ailleurs.



Je n’ai pas besoin de vous,

Car ma peine et toujours la.

Vous n’avez pas besoin de vous moquer,

Je vis avec ceci toutes les journées.



Donc, ce n’est pas juste un signe d’amitié,

Mais un signe de maturité.

Je vous demande cette faveur,

Avec grand cœur.



Mon amitié ne se donne pas,

Ma confiance est gagne.

Je vous aime, ce n’est pas assez ?

Vous n’avez pas besoin de parler,

Vous savez que vous étés pas obliger.


Je ne veux pas votre sympathie,

Envers mes défis,

Car, je sais qui je suis.



English virsion: 

It is very difficult

When I notice you.

It hurts me

When your words are so easy.


You do not pay attention,

When I cry with emotion.

I feel alone,

When you talk.


These stories are so interesting

When your life is not affected.

It gives you what, really?

Is it worth the trouble?


I give you my heart,

And how you repay me?

With my pain?

Does it make you happy?


I thought I had overcome these obstacles,

But, you bring them back.

I thought I was better

But now I'm somewhere else.


I do not need you,

Because my pain is still there.

You do not need to laugh,

I live with this every day.


So it's not just a sign of friendship,

But a sign of maturity.

I ask this favor

with all my heart.



My friendship is not given,

My trust in you is earned.

I love you, it is not enough?

You do not need to talk,

You know you're not obligated.


I do not want your sympathy,

For my problems.

I know who I am.

When times are tough,
Decisions are made,

Choices are regretted,

Life is doubted.



Time heals all wounds,

Waiting is the price,

My love is real,

Isn’t it what you feal?.”

Forgranted

When taking someone for granted, is it possible to be unaware of your love for them, thinking they’d always be there?



Sometimes we hide our feelings even from ourselves in order to avoid hurt and heart break.



Are we really scared of heart break, or scared that we actually might bring down our wall for once and let someone in that could possibly be the one that makes us fall in love?

Thou love

Old



Thy love

Thou, who makes my sorrows,

So visible in between the lines,

Thou, who leaves a trail which fallows.



Thou, who tells my unwillingness to live,

For it is not my choice,

But, the choice of the ones who surround thy self.



Thou, who does not judge,

Who does not ridicule opinions?

For which the right thy owns.

Thou, who does not know the pain thy suffer,

For thy am incapable of showing.



Life and death,

Does not come close,

For the time thy lived with thou.

If only given the chance.



In my eyes

I am neither,

Absolute or quaint,

I am vile and zany.



Thou, who is the light in my eyes,

For I do not wish thou pain.

I wish judicious love,

An honest love.



Do not abhor my love,

I am here,

Willing,

For you.



New



Your love…

You, who makes my sorrows,

So visible in between the lines,

You, who leaves a trail which fallows.



You, who tells my unwillingness to live,

For it is not my choice,

But, the choice of the ones who surround themself.



You, who does not judge,

Who does not ridicule opinions?

For which the right they own.

You, who does not know the pain I suffer,

For I am incapable of showing.



Life and death,

Does not come close,

For the time id live with you.

If only given the chance.



In my eyes

I am neither,

Perfect or beautiful,

I am disgusting and idiotic.



You, who is the light in my eyes,

For I do not wish your pain.

I wish fair love,

An honest love.



Do not reject my love,

I am here,

Willing,

For you

Dissapointment

Being scared of your disappointment

Was only in my head.



Now I lay here, alone.

I think of those times.

Where I stood loved and cherished.



Now I wonder, will I ever be enough.

For you to love me, for whom I am.

Not for the decisions I make or do.



Why does it all matter?

Is it all just thoughts you put in your head.

Or is it the reality of the truth.



Is it really me?

I love you,

Why don’t you see?

You’re the only ones that matter to me.